Today has been all about revisiting Eastern Social Welfare and meeting our children's respective foster mothers. I am really at a bit of a loss for words to write about the meeting. We were very anxious to ensure Amelie behaved well and responded to her foster mother, Mrs Lim. Amelie too has been looking forward to the day and I'm sure in many ways played on her thoughts equally too.
Of course for a Three year old child, just how much she understands is not always quantifiable. We have Mrs Lim's picture in Amelie's bedroom and often we kiss her goodnight. Recently Amelie has been attempting to understand the concept of foster mother asking Omma if she was in Foster Lim's tummy.
Our answers to now have tended towards brief, for Amelie's age, but honest. Mrs Lim took care of her when she was a baby after she was born in hospital. Up until now Amelie hasn't enquired of her birth mother and we have used the term to her. There are many approaches to origin and heritage for Adopted children. So far we have chosen not to keep secrets from her, but to try to keep responses appropriate to her age.
Eastern had prepared a welcoming ceremony for our return to the 'Motherland'. It included a film about the work that ESWS performs within the Korean community. We knew from previous visits about much of the good work ESWS that goes well beyond the adoptive services. They care and help pregnant single women through good health to full-term and provide counselling and support for any decision made about the care of the baby. Domestic and International adoption services form an important side to their work.
What impresses me more is the help they give to special needs and people with disabilities. At times when Korea has been a struggling economy, Eastern provided the vital care for many of these people that may have been simply neglected as money was not available willingly or otherwise. Unfortunately this led to abuse, neglect and misery for many. ESWS provides homes where necessary, schooling and vocational training and employment for adults. In other words they provide meaning and purpose and as such quality of life.
We learned through the 'new' Dr Kim that Dr Kim, the founder of ESWS has finally retired in his mid 90's. His mind is still very active and alert, but he has suffered a recent fall and had to have a broken hip operated upon and is in recovery. 
The Reddick Family
The Trescari Family
The Pirotta Family
The Dennis Family
During our tour of the complex it was interesting to note how affected everyone was. Parents in awe remembering their first encounter with their child/children. Kids in silent contemplation at babies in the nursery. The pictures show how even the most boisterous were silenced by the experience. Of course there were lighter moments when many could not resist the opportunity to have pictures taken on those ubiquitous thrones.
After lunch came the time for foster mother meetings. Nervously making our way up to the room, we were greeted by an excited welcome from Mrs Lim seated outside the office waiting our arrival. To our great relief Amelie responded in kind giving Mrs Lim a big hug and responding to her Korean name Yoo Rim (we had prepared Amelie to be greeted in her Korean name).
It surprised us somewhat that Mrs Lim recognised Amelie immediately after three years apart. To us she has grown and changed so much, but to Mrs Lim, Amelie Yoo Rim was exactly the same. I take it to be an indication of the bond she held with Amelie that a mother of any kind will recognise their young.
The meeting lasted about an hour using the interpretation skill of our social worker to describe the life Amelie Yoo Rim enjoys in Australia and how she is taught about her birth culture. Many questions flowed from both sides and even included that incredible day three years ago when we left with Amelie in our arms. Mrs Lim was touched by the roses we gave her on departure and was thankful to hear how we keep her memory dear to Amelie Yoo Rim.
For us one of the most exciting parts came when Mrs Lim asked if we could have direct contact with her family and ourselves. What a great opportunity. We had wanted to broach this ourselves so to have Mrs Lim keen to open the channels were gratefully accepted. Of course there will be language differences, bit we both have access to language interpretation so this freeing of communication is most welcome.
Amelie ran hot and cold through the meeting. At times not able to get enough of Mrs Lim and other times shy and unresponsive. The social worker explained this was quite normal for children of her age. The meeting is both exciting and threatening. We are grateful that it wasn't wasted by Amelie and there were some wonderfully intimate moments between the two. Bless her Amelie tried really hard despite her lack of years. We couldn't have been prouder at her effort.
We learned much of Mrs Lim's life too. Unfortunately her husband had to work, so couldn't attend. Her two sons are now married, we have pictures of girlfriends at our last meeting. She now has 3 grandchildren and a fourth is on the way. These keep her busy and she has only had two foster children since Amelie Yoo Rim. Amelie was special to her as she was her eighth foster child and the first girl. As she had two boys herself, this made Amelie special. She keep pictures of Amelie on her fridge and beside her bed and has been receiving pictures and letters we have sent through ESWS.
Recognise the throne?
As a family we are grateful that we have been able to make this opportunity available and am surprised how positive the experience has been for us all.
Most children in our tour group have been able to meet with foster mothers. One foster mother is currently unwell and was not available today, Monday. It sounds as thought she is hoping to make a time to meet later in the week.
As a stress relief, many of us kept the prize of a visit to Lotte World as a reward following the foster mother meetings.
Lotte World is another example of Korean 'Naffity'. The Lotte complex in southern Seoul is massive in scale. It includes an International Hotel, huge department store, equally huge lower scale (KMART style) department store, shopping mall, ice skating rink, ten pin bowling alley and.... Lotte World and indoor/outdoor amusement park.
I managed to fulfil the frustration of Liz at missing out on a roller-coaster ride in Everland by prevailing upon the Dennis family to care for Amelie while we enjoyed a ride including loops, twists and sudden drops in the dark. It occurred to us in line that we were entirely out of place in the queue. It was not just because our last roller coaster ride was 1988 in Queensland, but that I had been most neglectful not to have purchased his and hers rabbit-ears (or some other head dress).
Youths well into their 20's were sporting such head-wear with partners and to see such innocence on display confirms the naivity of children here. Much of the fun is innocent fun minus drugs and other negative influences. Perhaps they work far too hard studying incredibly long hours that they have no chance to experience childhood. These times of snatched freedom are the few opportunities to have some simple fun.... Well it's that,or like many Australian men, they all forget to grow up.
We had a wonderful evening burning off the nervous energy of the morning. Our pairing with the Dennis family worked well to allow splits between rides to allow grown-ups and kids enjoy many rides. The only failing came when the Dennis's left to go back to the hotel. We forgot to get our ticket from them. As we intended one last ride on the monorail. It caused scamming and sleight of hand to produce two tickets worthy of our very own Korean golden tongue Mrs Lee. She had worked some deal to get a few families into Lotte World at “local” rates, so our ticket less adventure was dedicated to her.
Our desperate pleas via SMS text to return our ticket before catching the train were finally answered as we swiped the key to our hotel room. “Sorry” it read, “Just got the message back at the hotel.”
Yeah right Brendan, thanks mate!
Just add it to the rules broken yesterday. Will we ever be allowed back?
No comments:
Post a Comment